I don’t like sitting in front of any writing surface.  They all bring feelings of failure that are lurking in my stomach straight up to my throat.  Nothing good happens when your stomach feelings start moving into new spaces.

So it was a sad day indeed when I realized that to help more than just the people who can get to my office, I had to write about what I do in my office.  Oh DEAR LORD!

Like so many situations we all face, in order to help others, you have to help yourself first.  So  I broke it down.  1. The feelings.  I wasn’t sure what was causing them, but they made it impossible to get anything done.  2. The process.  I am now capable of doing great outlines, but they surprisingly don’t make the writing easy.  I still have to stare at a writing surface and figure out a way to make some writing on it.  3. The distractions.  Man above can I find other things to look at , worry about, research…. Hell, some of it is even worthwhile stuff.  And some of it is just reflexively looking at Facebook or my phone. No, that never helps.

After spending time actually thinking about this and digging into what I do to get things done, here is what I have to report.

1. Feelings.  Stop asking yourself “Why?”  This does not work.  You’re asking the wrong side of your brain for info. You have an emotional side and it doesn’t like the word why.  It can’t answer why. Emotions do not necessarily speak English, or Spanish or any other form of logical expression.  Also, Do you find yourself running from emotions?  Not wanting to feel them? I tend to distract rather than sit with any feeling that rumbles my stomach.  Emotions are like three year old devil toddlers.  They do NOT like to be ignored and they cannot be solved.  They do like attention and time.  So I have found that most of my emotions will chill out when I stop, concentrate on the physical way they are playing out in my body, recognize what they are, and then just sit with them.  That’s right.  Stop trying to solve, run away, push down and just feel for as long as you can.  Count to 10 the first time, count a little bit more the next. No solving, just sitting.
2. Process.  It’s good we’ve had our little talk about feelings because I found that I needed to get comfortable with the feeling of confusion, and then indecision and some more fear of failure.  Starting with them, writing about them, let me get past them, but also has become some of my best work.  Write them down, draw them, use different means.  I find that when I start with a million ideas and no overview, 3×5 cards are the bomb. I write an idea on each and then I can arrange and rearrange them in ways that make sense.  Mindmaps can help.  I like MindMeister (mindmeister.com) because it allows me to work on a map across different platforms.  Dry erase boards are also good.  I’ve had times where I am using all of these and sticky notes.  Ask yourself about your own process and what works best.  Be brave in starting new ways and seeing if they work for you.
3. Distractions.  By now you might have guessed that many of our distractions are about our emotions.  Sure, it’s good to have a setting that is free of moving images, small people calling your name in demanding ways, and laundry.  But it’s not the cure.  Even if you have ADHD, (which I have a raging case of) distractions will often be about running from your fears and anxieties.  I sit down to a blank screen or a blank page and every speech about my wasted potential comes screaming out of my memory and, … Would you look at that idiot on FaceBook!  And my phone probably has an update on… something, anything.  I still take my Ritalin, stay away from food coloring, and keep sugar to a minimum.  All of that helps.  And then I need to sit with my emotions and have a moment of empathy for my younger self.  She endured a lot of speeches from frustrated adults without even a cup of coffee to take the edge off.

If you’ve got a project that isn’t writing, the same principles apply.  Sit with your feelings.  Have several different approaches for starting up. Make the environment work for you where you can and then realize that distractions are often internal, so sit with your feelings again.

Hope this helped!  Let me know in the comments about a project you have trouble starting and anything that worked for you.