You need your Yoda.

There’s plenty of people who will get in your way, tell you it can’t be done, yada, yada, yada, when you really need Yoda.  You need that person who will respectfully tell you you’re full of it or genuinely help you celebrate success.  You pick them, you let them guide you, and they get the joy of mentoring your success.  Now where can you find them?

The internet has blogs and info pages about everything these days.  You can find a pod-cast or a you-tube channel custom made for your goals.  Your Yoda doesn’t have to be in person.  Listening to people who are respectful and helpful will also fine tune your antenna.  You could use more of these people, but if you’ve picked bad romances and lousy friends, start on the internet and develop a sense of what the good ones actually sound like.

Take a class.  Whether you find one that you have to pay for, or a one time freebie at your local library, you will get in touch with other people who share your enthusiasm.  You’ll also find a teacher that you can ask questions and get ideas about other places to research.

Hire a coach.  This could be a personal trainer, an adult baby sitter, or a life coach who’ll ask about your goals and how you’re doing.  If you’re goals are physical, I would especially recommend hiring someone to take over the planning if you’re just getting started.  You can concentrate on effort and not puking, while they figure out which muscles need to hurt tomorrow.

Use the mentors you already have access to.  If you belong to a religious group, a social circle, or a family with a few healthy members, you may already have met your guide and just not know it.  Ask some questions of the people around you.  At my church, there are Nurse Practitioners, Doctors, Carpenters, and the guy who survived a Japanese prisoner of war camp.  There are marriages that have held together for 60+ years, and a few people that have survived brutal divorces.  Somewhere in that group, I could find people to read manuscripts, research history, or give me parenting tips.  And that’s just one group.  Think of the groups you belong to and find out what resources they have.

  1. Use the internet.
  2. Take a class.
  3. Hire a coach.
  4. Leverage your network.

Posted by Lorinne

Lorinne is a practicing therapist in Billings, Montana. She graduated from Abilene Christian University in 1995 with a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. She has worked with emotionally disturbed children, victims of sexual and domestic abuse, families in crisis and women in transition ever since.

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