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How To Deal With Crazy People » Spouse

Spring Cleaning out your life.

Spring Cleaning out your life.

Spring is coming (here in the north we’re expecting it in less than 4 months) and it’s time to clean out your house.   And for every action in your house or apartment, there’s even more important work to do on your heart and soul. We call the eyes windows to the soul, a place we see out, and others have a chance to see in.  But have you looked at your windows lately?  If you haven’t … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, healing, In the home, parents, Room mates, Spouse

Responsibility will set you free.

Responsibility will set you free.

  Responsibility is a big word with life long effects.  If your child can learn this one word and all the things it means, you will have given them freedom. Or maybe you need some freedom for yourself. The cages people live in aren’t usually acknowledged or seen.  If the bars are visible, the prisoner usually tells everyone, “oh, I stopped trying to break out, there’s nothing I can do about it.”  There are plenty of people … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, healing, In the home, Spouse

How to Grieve When You’re Still Angry

How to Grieve When You’re Still Angry

Or hurt, disgusted, confused, maybe even scared.  People die.  The relationships they created go on past death to strengthen or haunt those left behind. You will grieve the person that should have been there, and the one you had instead. You’ll grieve what you didn’t get from them. You’ll grieve for the other people they hurt, and maybe feel confused about the people who are missing someone you don’t really recognize. If you had good memories too, you’ll probably … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, parents, Spouse, Uncategorized

Controlling People, really care about their own feelings.

Controlling People, really care about their own feelings.

But you don’t have to. You’ve probably been convinced that you should.  You spend lots of time and energy apologizing for holding someone accountable because they say, “I didn’t mean too!  You act like I wanted to hurt you!”  You enter the conversation wanting an apology and leave it apologizing to the person who hurt your feelings in the first place. Now how does that happen?! Simple.  You’ve been trained to care about other people’s feelings.  And whoever … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Manipulative, Room mates, Self Centered, Spouse, Uncategorized

People are trying to Control you

People are trying to Control you

And they have so many ways to do this.  You might think that controllers only yell and directly order you around, but they can be so much sneakier than that.  You may not even know where someone else is taking over your life.  So before we can talk about how to deal, we need to learn how to recognize. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine”  Sure they are.  Because they are sucking you dry for everything … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Manipulative, parents, Spouse, Uncategorized

Dealing with the Crazy ex-Spouse

Dealing with the Crazy ex-Spouse

Question: My husband’s ex-wife is making our lives miserable.  She calls my husband’s cell phone at all hours screaming at him.  She keeps taking this whole mess back to court, saying that we’re attempting to alienate her children and we’re abusive.  What makes me nuts about this is how she tells everyone I caused everything. She left him for another man!  I’m sick of defending myself.  Yes, I started dating my husband before the divorce … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Manipulative, paranoid, Self Centered, Spouse, Uncategorized

Identify and Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Identify and Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Last week I answered a question from a woman talking about divorce.  You may have noticed that I didn’t deal directly with her questions about her husband’s behavior, but wrote about divorce, ultimatums, and asking yourself tough questions instead.  That’s prioritizing.  Deal with the hurting angry person in front of you before you move on to the hurting, angry behavior of the crazy person somewhere else.  Deal with your own pain before you attempt to … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Manipulative, Self Centered, Spouse

When and how to give an ultimatum

When and how to give an ultimatum

  Question: My husband will rage at me, refuse to talk for hours or even days, and then act like nothing happened.  When I try to ask him what happened, or tell him that I don’t like this behavior, he makes statements about how bad his day, his job, even his life is and won’t address what I’m saying.  I’m sick of the melodrama and the constant sense that my feelings don’t matter as much as … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Manipulative, Self Centered, Spouse

Avoiding Fights

Avoiding Fights

I get asked quite often how to avoid getting sucked into fights.  People are usually frustrated and worn out when they ask this.  There have been too many times where a simple request or observation morphed into the mother of all show downs.  So I understand the frustration, and I still see the need to back up and talk about the difference between a fight and a discussion/confrontation.  Lots of people ask me about stopping the … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Room mates, Spouse

What To Do Around Insensitive People Who Just Don’t Learn

What To Do Around Insensitive People Who Just Don’t Learn

I tell people on a regular basis that if they walk outside while it’s raining, stop cursing God for getting wet. If you know what will happen next and don’t deal with it, won’t prepare for it, refuse to face it; you will get wet.  Either take your umbrella, or deal with the cold walk to your car. Screaming at the sky makes you look psychotic and keeps you uncomfortable for a longer … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, healing, In the home, parents, Spouse