Articles Comments

How To Deal With Crazy People » Self Centered

How to ruin your child!

How to ruin your child!

Now I’m aware there are good kids out there being raised right.  I also know there are children who get raised by loving parents doing everything right and the kid still hares off into all sorts of crazy.  There’s also some children out there being raised by well-meaning but not terribly effective parents.  The kids who are terrorizing the rest of the school and making life hard on everyone.  So forgive me if I sound … Read entire article »

Filed under: In the home, Manipulative, parents, Self Centered, Uncategorized

Help! My family won’t support my parenting.

Help! My family won’t support my parenting.

  You put your child on a gluten free diet and your grandfather took her out for pizza.  You tell your parents “we’re trying a new church as a family” and they take your children aside to warn them about how Mommy & Daddy are going to hell.  You’re so grateful for a diagnosis that helps you deal with and explain your child’s behavior; until your family starts casually mentioning all the ways you did things … Read entire article »

Filed under: In the home, Manipulative, paranoid, parents, Self Centered

Controlling People, really care about their own feelings.

Controlling People, really care about their own feelings.

But you don’t have to. You’ve probably been convinced that you should.  You spend lots of time and energy apologizing for holding someone accountable because they say, “I didn’t mean too!  You act like I wanted to hurt you!”  You enter the conversation wanting an apology and leave it apologizing to the person who hurt your feelings in the first place. Now how does that happen?! Simple.  You’ve been trained to care about other people’s feelings.  And whoever … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Manipulative, Room mates, Self Centered, Spouse, Uncategorized

Passive Aggressive and Out to Control YOU!

Passive Aggressive and Out to Control YOU!

Are you ready to stop them? Don’t defend yourself.  The passive has been setting you up to defend yourself, vigorously, so they will look more victimized by you. Don’t power struggle.  Just keep smiling, it will irritate the passive more than anything you have to say.  Get frustrated and they will feel victorious.  Take it personally and you’re wasting energy.  They treat everyone like this sooner or later. Make any statement that you need to and follow it … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, healing, In the home, Manipulative, Self Centered

Someone at work, is out to get you.

Someone at work, is out to get you.

You even know who they are. You didn’t want to believe it, so you’ve made up excuses for how rumors swirled, letters got misplaced, and situations you had calmed down suddenly fired up again. Someone is mad at you, possibly blames you for a stalled career, or maybe their home life sucks and you’re a good target.  Whatever it is, you are not imagining this. You might need to look like you don’t know what’s going on, but … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, Manipulative, paranoid, Self Centered

Dealing with the Crazy ex-Spouse

Dealing with the Crazy ex-Spouse

Question: My husband’s ex-wife is making our lives miserable.  She calls my husband’s cell phone at all hours screaming at him.  She keeps taking this whole mess back to court, saying that we’re attempting to alienate her children and we’re abusive.  What makes me nuts about this is how she tells everyone I caused everything. She left him for another man!  I’m sick of defending myself.  Yes, I started dating my husband before the divorce … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Manipulative, paranoid, Self Centered, Spouse, Uncategorized

Identify and Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Identify and Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Last week I answered a question from a woman talking about divorce.  You may have noticed that I didn’t deal directly with her questions about her husband’s behavior, but wrote about divorce, ultimatums, and asking yourself tough questions instead.  That’s prioritizing.  Deal with the hurting angry person in front of you before you move on to the hurting, angry behavior of the crazy person somewhere else.  Deal with your own pain before you attempt to … Read entire article »

Filed under: At the workplace, In the home, Manipulative, Self Centered, Spouse

When and how to give an ultimatum

When and how to give an ultimatum

  Question: My husband will rage at me, refuse to talk for hours or even days, and then act like nothing happened.  When I try to ask him what happened, or tell him that I don’t like this behavior, he makes statements about how bad his day, his job, even his life is and won’t address what I’m saying.  I’m sick of the melodrama and the constant sense that my feelings don’t matter as much as … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Manipulative, Self Centered, Spouse

Why Do I have Irrational Anger Over Simple Conversations with my Parent?

Why Do I have Irrational Anger Over Simple Conversations with my Parent?

QUESTION: My mother sends me e-mails that drive me crazy and the worst part of it is I don’t know why. I see her name in the in box and start getting frustrated. I’m sending you the latest e-mail. Please tell me why I get so upset! ANSWER: If this communication was from someone you just met and you were this upset, the issue would be yours. But it’s from mom. So we … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Manipulative, parents, Self Centered

How To Stop Taking Things Personally with Friends

How To Stop Taking Things Personally with Friends

Friends don’t always like you. Tonight I had an uncomfortable conversation with one of my best friends.  There were pauses where she would normally have been rattling away.  Subtle voice changes too. When a friend is talking to you they will usually sound safe.  There won’t be any censoring or processing going on.  If you’re noticing pauses where there weren’t any before and the word choices are slightly … Read entire article »

Filed under: healing, In the home, Self Centered