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How To Deal With Crazy People » healing, In the home » Survival and Thriving when Moving On From An Abusive Relationship

Survival and Thriving when Moving On From An Abusive Relationship

Moving from Survival to Thriving is a process not an event.  Part of that process is letting go of what doesn’t work for you, what holds you back, whatever you don’t need. Even if those things feel so important that you would swear you can’t live without them.

If you think it’s that important, it may be part of what helped you survive.  We can call it a survival mechanism.  Survival mechanisms are great when you need them and a stinky blanket that will smother you later on. What helped you get here alive may be the thing you need to get rid of in order to move forward.

Some examples of survival mechanisms that hurt you later; negative self beliefs, never getting emotional, never crying, taking all the blame for everything, pushing friends away, over-eating, starving yourself, and spending all your time preparing for the absolute worst thing possible.

You don’t need to be mad at yourself for what you’re doing.  It worked and got you through at one time.

If you need to be angry, get angry at the situation that made a survival mechanism necessary.

You are entitled to change.  You get to make your life better.

When you tell yourself it’s not possible, that’s a survival mechanism that’s outlived it’s usefulness.
At one point in your life, you needed to believe that and you did a good job of it.

Now you can let go.

You’ve moved on, grown up, got stronger, and you are ready to accept a new reality.

You get the future you deserve.  You deserve the future you’ll walk towards.

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Lorinne is a practicing therapist in Billings, Montana. She graduated from Abilene Christian University in 1995 with a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. She has worked with emotionally disturbed children, victims of sexual and domestic abuse, families in crisis and women in transition ever since.

Filed under: healing, In the home

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